Who wears the pants?
Relationships are so fluid, they are always changing. I used to wonder how people all of a sudden stopped loving each other, how two people could be so besotted with each other one moment, and then seemingly without anything catastrophic happening, couldn’t stand to be in the same room as one another.
Around me lately, there have been so many break-ups. Relationships that seemed rock solid have teetered precariously for a short time, before crumbling. It just goes to show, you have no idea what is going on behind closed doors. Other relationships which you were sure wouldn’t (couldn’t?) last out the year have suddenly strengthened, and now just seem to work.
My relationship has been a long one - we got married a few weeks ago, after six years together. During that six years, we’d separated twice, for literally a day at a time. This was many years ago now, the first being when an old crush was interested in me, and returned to the scene. I wasn’t sure I could live with the ‘what ifs’ if I didn’t at least satisfy some element of my curiosity. It was a mistake. I knew the whole time I was on that ‘date’ that it wasn’t going anywhere, and that as soon as it was over, I was calling my partner and fixing all the damage I’d done. The second time we split (again, for only a day or two) was when we’d first moved out of home together, and it just all seemed too much. He came back after a couple of days when we realised we really couldn’t live without each other.
I still feel this is true, but I also know that noone enters a marriage expecting it to end one day. Everyone hopes it is forever. I can feel our dynamics changing, and the relationship is evolving. We say that nothing feels different or has changed since the wedding, but I think there are subtle differences to the way we talk to one another and how we think of one another. He is becoming more confident, more willing to put his foot down and push his opinion. This is actually a relief, I have always felt I was ‘the boss’, the one who made the final decisions, the one who researched what our next move was, the one who made it all work. He’s becoming more of a partner.
