Brunette Stripped Bare

I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be horny more than once a week.

Once a upon a time, I wanted sex all the time. I would only have to think about sex and there would be that dull ache in the sweetest of spots, anticipating what was to come (’scuse the pun). I’d always heard that a woman’s sexual peak arrives much later than a man’s (I think late-30’s for women vs. late teens for men), however that didn’t seem to be true for me. Whilst not wildly promiscuous, I was in no way a prude either and as long as there was an attraction there, I was up for it. The fact that I was on The Pill only made life easier - no need to worry about the condom breaking, as there was always a safety net anyway. No worry about pregnancy = free abandon in the bedroom. Or the car. Or at the beach. Basically, wherever the mood struck. 

Sex was good with my then-boyfriend, now-husband from the beginning. I was his first, and I have moulded him to be my ideal lover, hopefully I have done the same for him. He was and still is, teh hotness. My type completely… tall, broad shoulders, dark hair, dark eyes, quiet and shy… delicious. But for some reason, the sex+us equation was starting to not add up. For one, we were having sex a lot less. And I was the problem. I never initiated sex, and when he did I either refused altogether, or simply obliged. But he and I could both tell it was becoming just that - an obligation. My vajeeen (thank you Borat) just didn’t want to come to the party. Not exactly what we envisaged for the next 50+years of our lives!

The kick up the arse for me came when my husband revealed his concerns for our marriage. While everything else about our marriage is literally perfect, it seems pretty empty without regular sex, particularly in your mid-20’s with no children, and therefore, no excuses! We have often said that we are each other’s best friend, but he was concerned we were becoming just that - best friends, not husband and wife. I started assessing where we could be going wrong.

After doing some research, it seems that the very thing that initially gave me sexual freedom may now be taking it away. The Pill. The secret libido killer, ruining marriages the world over. There is anecdotal evidence that The Pill is responsible for lowering the libido of millions of women, particularly after long-term use. I have been on it for around 10 years. Long-term enough for you?

So, I made the difficult decision to try life without The Pill for the first time in my adult life. I have many concerns. Pregnancy, acne, the size of my boobs (if they get any itty-bitty’er, I might as well be 9 years old). I can deal with these worries if it means making my husband (and me!) more satisfied. But I think the scariest thing of all is the ‘what if’? What if it doesn’t work? What does it it mean for ‘us’?