Everybody is good at their job?
Noone thinks they are shit at their job.
How many times have you come home from work and whinged and whined about the complete imbeciles you have to deal with at work? How many other people you work with do the exact same thing with their loved ones at the end of the work day?? Including the person who you think is an imbecile?!
I sometimes send my brain around in circles thinking about this stuff. It’s like a chain of idiots. We all pass the buck down the chain, each thinking the next colleague is infinitely stupider than we, wondering why noone can do their job properly except me and possibly a couple of others lucky enough not to make it onto the black list. I wonder if the people who are truely crap realise that they are truely crap. I’m sure they go home even more frustrated than those who are not truely crap, because they are so awful they don’t have the ability to try and fix things for themselves. They would go around thinking they are the only smart one, and everyone else is crazy-stupid! What if I’m truely crap and don’t even know it?
I need a life. Seriously, I waste far too much time thinking in these circles.
Children are kinda… permanent
In my late-teens and early-twenties I was the Queen of Flirt. Seriously. I would set my sights on a target, and before too long I’d be hooking in. Not a conventional beauty and tiny boobs to boot, I truly believe it was a talent… one that I have recently mourned the loss of. Still not sure just how I achieved some of the hook-ups I did.
Anyway, there are only three serious crushes in my lifetime that were not reciprocated at the time. Incidently, all three of these crushes have since admitted that they did fancy me, but the timing was just not right. Now I sleep at night.
Despite being married, I guess I sometimes think that one day, these crushes (two in particular… the third I really went off him) might actually come to fruition. Think might not be the right word.. maybe daydream, or fantasize? These are not really something I want to come true. Just something to add a little spice to the mundane life I currently lead. As much as I love the hubster and we are very happy together, the life we lead is just so incredibly NORMAL. To keep things interesting, I’ll admit I occasionally let my mind wander into something more resembling the Bold and the Beautiful.
Something ruins these fantasies though. That thing… is children. Not my own.
So in my imagination, the scenarios vary. I am still married and therefore delightfully unattainable, therefore making me even more attractive and desirable to my former crushes, despite them also being in relationships. By some convenient coincidence, both of our relationships end at the same time and we are brought together by a twist of fate. Or, I am no longer married, deciding instead that yes, my true love was the guy I had a crush on when I was 16 years old and leave the hubster. I then barge back into their lives and they, of course, immediately leave their partner who was really a fill-in until I came to my senses and finally the timing was ‘right’ for both of us. We’re instantly sexually compatible and wonder how we lived without each other for all these years. Old partners are quickly forgotten.
This fantasy is MUCH harder when children are involved. They’re just such a permanent obstacle. Even in my daydreams, I can’t bring myself to be a homewrecker. All’s fair in love and war… except, THINK OF THE CHILDREN!
Creepy, or cute?
I have been anti-Public Transport for some time now. Since I got my drivers license at 17 years of age, I had set foot on Public Transport only once, and on that one occasion I caught the foulest of phlegmy coughs from a sharing and caring individual who was sat behind me on the bus. I vowed never to use Public Transport ever again.
Recently I decided to give it another shot because I had a social event to go to after work where I might like to have a drink or two. Our state government had recently opened a brand new train line which stopped near my place. I wore a scarf, so should the requirement arise I could fashion some sort of medical mask out of my woollen wrap to avoid any communal germs. I was prepared for the worst. Noone was more shocked than I when I found that I fricken LOVED the train, and I have started catching it pretty regularly. It’s cutting my stress down, big time, as my quota of weekly road-rage is way down.
My nosey self also loves the people-watching element. The truth is, the majority of us are boring zombies on Public Transport, but you get the odd gem. The other day on the way home, there was a guy who was subtly sketching an older couple across the aisle from him. I was watching him, watching them – it was pretty fascinating. They had no idea he was watching them, I kept checking with them and they were definitely in their own planet. He worked quickly as he seemed to sense that their stop was approaching. As they stood up ready to leave the train, I was interested to see what he would do with the picture. As the doors opening, he quickly stood up, took a step toward them and thrust the picture in their direction. In the hustle of people leaving the train, the wife’s face was priceless as she showed her husband what the man had drawn. He remained on the train, so there was no opportunity for them to thank him, berate him or be freaked out by him before the doors closed and train moved on.
I’m still in two minds on this one… Creepy, or cute? Discuss.
Short Attention Span… Strikes Again
Yeah, yeah… I know, posts on here have dried up again. Life takes over, then you lose momentum, and you can’t get back into it. I know I don’t have to explain what it’s like to you guys - you get it.
So, lately there have been NO changes to my daily existence, but I do feel like a shift is occurring inside my mind. It feels like, without sounding like an incredible cliche, that I’m coming into my own. It feels like I’m spending alot more time thinking what I want, what I need, in order to lead a fulfilling life. There’s been no significant turning point that I can identify, but I’ve begun thinking of doing things that I want to do and caring less about what people might think of me if I decide to do them.
I’ve always been told by others that I should be doing something creative. I just wasn’t feeling it, to be honest. I can string together a sentence coherently, but I knew my writing wasn’t anything particularly special. I can carry a tune, but not well enough to sing in front of an audience. I don’t write music either, never learnt an instrument. I like music well enough, but it’s not an addiction… so I didn’t feel music was the ‘way’ either. But photography is something that fascinates me. I love gorgeous photos, particularly of landscapes but also portraits, as long as I get some emotion out of it. I want to be able to do that myself.
So, I’ve bitten the bullet. Bought a Digital SLR, a couple of lenses then switched it on auto and had a go. Results were… ordinary. Better than my point-and-shoot digital camera but nothing amazing. I was kinda disappointed – I wanted this talent to just jump out at me and slap me in the face! I want to just be naturally good at something! My darling husband pointed out that noone becomes a professional at anything overnight… and jokingly said that I better be one after a fortnight, or he’s taking the camera back to the shop! Anyway, despite my initial disappointment, I have done a short course and learnt how to manipulative the camera’s Manual Mode in theory, now I just have to put it into practice. The photos are still pretty ordinary, but I am really having alot of fun and for once my attention span hasn’t fizzled. For once, I’ve found something I want to persevere with.
I find it hard to be impartial when I look at the photos - I really don’t know what looks good and what doesn’t because I’m too emotionally ‘in it’ to decide. So, although I don’t want this blog to become just about photos, I do want you guys to be my guinea pigs. And yes, I want BRUTAL honesty. You know I’ve asked for it before, and I mean it.
