Brunette Stripped Bare

It will be a challenge to complete this whilst still maintaining my anonymity.

1. I am married

2. I was born in North Yorkshire, but moved to Australia as a child

3. I wish I’d kept my accent

4. I got rid of the English accent quickly because as a precocious 8-year-old, I couldn’t deal with people trying to imitate anymore. They just did SUCH a rubbish job, it was offending my tiny ears.

5. Now I have a really broad Australian accent. I think this only comes from being married to my husband, one of the biggest ‘Occas’ on the planet

6. I have begun and ditched two separate university degrees - one in Business, the other in Education

7. I ditched Business because I hated study, and I ditched Education because I realised I have no patience for stupid people

8. Speaking of stupid people, I do tend to think I am smarter than everyone else

9. When I am drunk, I am much more obvious about my disdain for others’ intelligence

10. This is part of the reason I rarely drink anymore, I kept telling people far too much about what I really thought about them

11. I was coming off as completely conceited, which I guess I wanted to keep to myself?

12. I hate the OhShitMoments that come the morning after getting paroletic on alcohol. This is another reason I stopped drinking.

13. I suspect this makes me a bit of a control freak

14. I have friends from many age groups - my normal high school friends, as well as more ’surrogate mum’ type figures that are into their 40’s and 50’s who I will sit and have tea with and shoot the breeze

15. I like buying new cars, even though my logical mind tells me that they lose $1000’s off their value the minute I drive it out of the yard.

16. I think my Dad is the shit

17. I think my Mum is just shit

18. My sister is sometimes difficult to deal with, but she has a heart of gold and I am so proud of her strong will and resolve to succeed.

19. I wish I had her focus sometimes

20. Other times, I feel comfortable with my short attention span (for studying, anyway)

21. I am the Queen of Procrastination. When I was at University, the only time my house was ever clean was when I had an assignment due

22. I am a fan of the following saying: “Procrastination is like Masturbation. You have fun at the time, but at the end of the day, you realise you’ve just fucked yourself”

23. I have a Geek-Crush on Michael Cera of Arrested Development, SuperBad and Juno fame. Why?!

24. I have had three blogs prior to this one, but feel like this is the first time I have found my niche - largely because I haven’t advertised it anywhere where it could be traced back to my ‘real life’

25. My husband doesn’t know I blog

26. I have kept it a secret, not because I talk about him, but because I talk about some skeletons in my wardrobe that he doesn’t know about

27. I have no family living in Australia, except for my immediate family (Mum, Dad, Sister). Everyone else is in England, the USA, Canada & South Africa. It appears we have itchy feet, us lot!

28. I have never had the desire to be a backpacker.

29. I know it’s some sort of ‘Right of Passage’, particularly for Australian people because of our isolation in the world’s geography… but I like quality accommodation!

30. My husband never used to want to travel at all, but I married him anyway

31. We went on our Honeymoon, and now he has the travel bug

32. Now we’re going to see the World in small, nicely accommodated chunks

33. I enjoy cooking, but hate doing the dishes.

34. The house we’re building will have a dishwasher, so I will hopefully never want takeaway again!

35. At the moment, we have an addiction to it.

36. I don’t want to be the stereotypical wife who gets married and then piles on the kilos

37. I think this is more of a deterrant than the health risks associated with being overweight - I just don’t want to be the stereotype!

38. I work in a job where I have been promoted twice & doubled my pay in two years. Despite my success in my role, I don’t think I enjoy what I do every day

39. I’m pissed off I have to think so hard in my job now and don’t get to tick things off my ‘To-Do’ list very often - it’s all big project work

40. I think I want a well-paying, easy job. I want to be kept busy with a series of easy (even menial) tasks so I can say “I ticked this many things off my list today!”

41. I’m worried I’ve priced myself out of the market and would have to take a pay-cut to change jobs

42. I once had a dirty dream about Martin Clune, which revolted me very, very much. Not nice!

43. I like new things, especially houses. Who gives a fuck about ‘character’ anyway?

44. I want to like gardening, but it sucks. I want a Vegetable and Herb Garden. I especially want to grow Lemons and Passionfruit

45. I have had the same group of friends since I was 13, with some later additions. But the core is still there

46. All my Grandparents are still alive. I hope I’m not tempting fate by saying that

47. I want children very badly, but am a bit scared because it seemed to send my mother looney, literally.

48. This is one of the main reasons I agree to wait until we’re a bit older (closer to 30 than to 20), so we can make sure we have ‘had our fun’ before we launch into the penny-pinching exercise of bringing up baby.

49. I would eat prawns or salmon everyday, if they could be delivered fresh to my house. I hate it when you eat slow-frozen prawns that have been defrosted and get that odd metallic taste

50. I think I’m a shit friend, daughter and sister - I’m shocking at keeping in touch… people always have to call me before I call them!